I’ve reviewed many job applications as an employer. One thing I have noticed is that a lot of people make it easy to not get noticed. Think about this; someone is applying for a job that will likely have hundreds of other applicants. But they don’t make the effort to get attention. They simple attach and email their CV without a subject or body.
Such behavior leaves the message that the job doesn’t mean anything to you. And no one wants to hire someone who doesn’t really want the job. Unfortunately, as I have observed, this type of people are in the majority. It’s easy to shortlist 15 applications from 100 because 85 simply will not follow instruction, observe basic courtesy or just be reasonable.
Yet this set of people will be the first to complain that there is not job or that nobody cares to offer them an opportunity. They fail to realize that, while the market may be competitive and life may be generally hard, there are habits that have made life harder for them. In this video, I’m going to share with you 7 habits that make it hard for people to help you.
Before we get to it, be sure to subscribe to After School TV for more insightful videos like this.
1. Self entitlement
Self entitlement is when a person perceives themselves as deserving of unearned privileges; people who believe life owes them something, and feel offended when they don’t get what they expect. One of the reasons someone applying for a job will comfortably email their CV without a subject or body is due to self entitlement. Such people think they deserve a job, and find it too demanding to make extra effort to sell themselves.
People like this are like that pretty girl that don’t see the need to convince a potential date that she’ll make a good partner. She is too pretty to bother trying because in her world she is a price to be won. When you feel entitled, you don’t try to sell yourself. As a consequence, you don’t get what you want. You have to understand that everyone is fighting their own battle. People have busy lives and have a lot going for them as well. No one owns you anything. If you want to get something from other people, you have to prove that you have regard for them and that you really want that.
2. Pity seeking
Being self entitled is one extreme of self delusion; seeking pity is the opposite extreme; and among the most destructive self perception. People who are of the habit of seeking pity as a form of persuasion never rise above their predicament. No one will give you a job out of pity. No sane person can give you capital to start a business out of pity. No organization will award you a scholarship out of pity. They can be reasonable but not pitiful. You don’t want pity. Out of pity, someone may give you fish to eat today. But if you want to rise above your predicament, you want to give people reason to want to help you.
3. Taker attitude
There is nothing attractive about someone who wants to take as much as they can but never considers others. Think about it; what do you think about that person that only calls when he needs something from you? How do you feel when your phone rings and you see their name? People who are takers and never give are often irritating. They are like parasites; always looking to take and never wanting to give. If you have the habit of always looking for want you can get and never considering what you can give, you will have a hard time getting help from people. You may think you don’t have anything to give to someone more privileged than you. But sometimes, what you give could be a matter of how you approach the person.
4. Being stuck up
People hire you because they like something about you. People recommend you because they like something about you. It is not because they feel morally compelled or that you are unreasonably persistent. It is because they like something about you. However, nobody likes someone who is snobbish and thinks and acts like they are better or superior to everyone else.
People like people who show that they genuinely value and appreciate them. It could be as simple as showing that you respect their time, or are polite. Or it could be something more like showing genuine support for their work. Give people what they want and they will give you want you want. People wanting to get something from you before helping you is not about pride; it’s about the law of reciprocity; we want to give to people who can prove that they can also give to others.
Some people are not certain about what they want. While some like to push the responsibility of thinking to the person they are asking help from. For example, we receive hundreds of emails everyday from our community; most of which are vague requests like, ‘I want a scholarship, how can you help me?’, ‘I want to publish my books on Amazon, help me” It’s often difficult to provide concrete response to such generic requests because they are not clear on what they want.
When you make it hard for someone to help you, they often don’t bother trying. Instead you should make it easy for them. Ask exactly what you want them to help you with. Don’t dump your entire problem on them and expect them to figure out where you need help.
6. Talking big, doing small
Imagine you had the opportunity to invest in a business between two people who approached you. One talks big about his great idea that will change the world but have not taken any concrete action. The other explains how he had started his business with his entire savings, has acquired 10 paying customers and is in need of capital to expand the business. Who are you more likely to invest your money with? I’ll bet you’ll put your money with the second person.
You can’t deserve people for too long with talk without action. Soon they will see you for what you are and your words will have little value. In the long run, people value and respect doers more than talkers. If you are applying for scholarship, the scholarship provider wants to see that you are already spending time developing your leadership, academic and extracurricular qualification. It’s what you have done that speaks for you, not what you say you will do.
You see, no matter how generous you are, you want the help you render to be fruitful. If you give money to support someone, you want to see that your money improves someone’s life. If an organization wants to offer scholarship to poor students, they want to see that the student appreciates the opportunity, and makes the best of it. If you want to recommend someone for a job, you want to recommend someone you will be confident in.
When we help people, we hope that our help will make their life at least a bit better. No one wants to help a failure. There is a difference between someone who has failed at something but trying to get back on their feet and someone who accepts to be a failure. The best kind of help poor people get is hand out. Even if you are poor, don’t use poverty as persuasion for assistance. People like to help positive and success driven people. Keep despair and misfortune behind – bring your positive self forward.
If you want to increase the probability for people to support and give your opportunity, show your track record of determination to succeed. The more you succeed at something, the more people will want to help you succeed.
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